Bombastic Love
by BloodyNeutral
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart, Hogwart's pretty boy, has an obssession with our dear young Severus Snape. So he decides to declare his bombastic love to him. But to bad, our slytherin seems already to have been taken to two mutts... SLASH onesided GLSS. RLSSSB ...


**Bombastic Love/Sexbomb**

**Warning**: For those who doesn't like **slash**, shooooo.. **point at the exit **Some** swearing, **and cough some rather mild adult content, so I rate this fic M just to be safe... ' And sorry to all Lockhart-fans, but there will be some Lockhart bashing... Don't hurt me! xD

**Disclaimer**: I **DO NOT** own the Harry Potter characters or anything that's in the HP world, they only belong to the wonderfull J. K Rowling I **don't **own the songs either.. They belong to Britney Spears and Tom Jones.. :P But I **DO **own Leo, Mae, Sarichi, Nettie, Kail, Lina and Fox.. Why? 'Cause they're are in fact my IRL friends! x'D

**Pairings**: RL/SB/SS, onesided GL/SS and some crazy slash-fan-drooling from my friends and I..xD

It was a normal day as it could be. Pranksters were unusually calm today, namely the infamous Marauders. So the others were a bit catious, fearing they were up to something biiiig. Making them of course grin and deadpan. They don't prank ALL the time... Right?

Moving on away from the Gryffindor pranksters to the Ravenclaws. Gasp! Doesn't seem like they were up to no good either, oh dear Merlin. Mae, Sarichi and Nettie was just acting like –dare I say it?- nooormal teenage-girls.  
The world is in to an end.

However, the Slytherin table was as it usually was, Leo was poking at an annoyed Severus, who was also slapping away Lina's hand from touching his hair from time to time. Kail was off and flirting with some Nott kid and Fox was at the moment flirting with Regulus.  
Okay, so why was everything normal lately!

Wait a minute...  
There is one house-table we haven't analysed yet.  
Hufflepuff.

Scanning the friendly faces however, there doesn't seem any strange about the table either. Expect for one thing.  
Gilderoy Lockhart wasn't present.  
Oooh... Where was that pretty-boy?

Music started. Damn.

"Don't tell me Leo's gonna sing..Again.." muttered Severus and hided his face behind his hands. He yelped when someone poked him at the ribs and glared at that said person.  
"As you see, I'm not. I'm still here you know." Said Leo annoyed and glared back at him.  
Severus looked at her confused. "Then who...?"

"I... I'm here to testify, that you're the only one I belong too.." came a singing voice and the owner of the voice appeared at the entrance with an blinding smile.  
Students and teachers stared.

"I don't know where to start, it turned into an art. Not to show the world that it was you.."  
There he was, the almighty Gilderoy Lockhart. Wearing chock-pink tight leather-trousers with an light-blue unbuttoned shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. It seemed like he only had blond hair on his head, not anywhere else.

"You maybe realize, not to comprimise. The fact that you and I... Should heard.."  
Now everyone noticed that Lockhart has his blue eyes looking dreamily at Severus while singing. If they hadn't been so chocked, they would have noticed when Lockhart sang. It wasn't very pretty.

"I know we're gonna get, know we're gonna get, get. Bombastic love, so fantastic." Sang Lockhart now beginning to move towards the Slytherin table with his body moving really strange with the rythm.  
"Where I'm completly yours and you are mine."  
He stood in front of an gaping Severus and pointed at Severus heart and then to his own while he sang.

"And it's gonna be exactly like in a movie. When we fall in love for the first time."  
Leo who was sitting next to Severus was holding close her mouth from escaping a giggle, while Lina who sat the other side of him glared at Lockhart with an look that said "MINE! MINE! MINE!"

Severus tried to glare, sneer, back away. Either way Lockhart just kept dancing in front of him, comming dangerously close.

The teachers were just sitting there, watching amused. Kids should just learn how to handle their own problems. Albus just thought it was amusing while he was eating his precious lemon-drops.

Sirius and Remus looked... Envious?... What in the name of Salazar!...

After singing the second verse Lockhart went on with the chorus again and made an attempt to shake-butt to Severus.  
Severus looked pretty much disgusted.  
"...Where I'm completely yours and you are mine...And it's gonna be exactly like in a movie. When we fall in love for the first tiiime."  
The last word sounded more like an high-pitched scream.

"It's gonna be.. Bombastic love.." Lockhart tried to make his voice sound husky and hot while singing, guess what? Didn't work... Pfft..  
"Everything is gonna be alright when..."

Some fan-girls to Lockhart had already fainted, and the others were trying to figure out if he was having a cold or not. He did sound like his nose was being snivvelly while singing.

"It's gonna be fantastic love, wanna wake up everything is still the same..."  
They couldn't make out the sentence after that, because when he tried singing in high-tone. Well, just hold for your ears..

Lockhart attempted a lap-dance on him, but Severus pushed him roughly off. It seemed like Lockhart only liked to be touched and was having a sick grin, but continued to dance. Not on his lap this time of course.  
"I know it's gonna be.." He made a dramatic gesture with his arms. "Bombastic love so fantastic, when I'm completely yours and you are mine.. And it's gonna be exactly like in a movie, when we fall in love for the first time.. I know we're gonna get, we're gonna get,get."

At this time Lockhart had removed his shirt. Ladies and gentlemen, this boy hasn't yet become a man.

"Bombastic love.. Oooh yeah.. And you are miiine..Exactly like in the movies, baby..."

Lockhart finished by landing on his knees in front of Severus with an blinding smile. Did I mention it was very bright?

"Date with me!" said Lockhart and tried puppy-eyes. Surprise, surprise, it didn't work against our favorite Slytherin.  
"Never in my whole damned life." Scowled Severus and tried to move away.  
"Please! I beg you, my darling! Seeing as you are single at the time being!"  
"Who said he was single?" putted Leo in with an smirk keeping Severus for answering that.  
Lockhart stared at her affronted and gaped.  
"He's with someone! I don't believe you!"  
Ah, who would be smart enough believe in her? Pfft..  
"What if he proves it by dancing and singing to his love?" suggested Leo her smirk widening and keept Severus from saying anything again. He was now staring at her too.  
"Okey.." agreed Lockhart reluctantly and sat down. He was quite eager seeing HIS Severus dancing. Bet he was bloody good.

"What the fucking devil are you doing!" hissed Severus to Leo, while she pushed him up to his feet grinning.  
"Do you want him to leave you alone or not? Now pick your victims and show them how amazing hot you are at dancing! Shoo!" hissed Leo back and sounded amused, then sat down again.

Severus stood there helplessly and noticed everyone staring at him waiting curiously him to begin. Plenty couldn't really believe he could dance, and expected him to be as bad as Lockhart. HA! They wish.  
He sighed and rolled his eyes before taking of his black plain robes revealing the outfit under it.

Dark-blue shaded jeans that clung to his hips, black boots, black tight-fitted t-shirt that showed of his well trained slight six-pack and lean-muscles.  
Everyone hadn't recovered from the chock that Severus looked so hot, when the music began...

Severus began first slowly sway and hang in with the beat and then slowly got comfortable with the thought about dancing that he became more daring.  
"Uh... Oh, baby... Yeah...Oh yeah.."  
He began to move and those sounds made a huge effect on alot of people, guess what on Lockhart.  
"Ha.. Let's do this." Severus winked at no one in particular, causing some few hitched breaths. "Spy on me baby use satellite, infrared to see me move through the night.. Aim go and fire, shoot me right, I'm gonna like the way you fight..I love the way you fight."

He was aware of two particular pair of eyes, those two –yes TWO- who he was gonna choose as his 'victims', smirking he made some sharp and elegant moves with his body, that he KNEW looked fucking good.

"Now you found the secret code I use, to wash away my lonely blues. So I can't deny or lie cause you're the only one to make me fly.."  
James looked horrified when the hot sexy –cough- slytherin boy was moving to their table. He didn't notice to of his friends were almost drooling at the sight.

Severus was having a sexy grin plastered at his face, he did notice his victims were already drooling at the sight, this was going to be easy.  
He was just standing a few feet away from them and arched his back in some motions that even made a couple of teachers feel hot and bothered of.

"Sexbomb, sexbomb. You're a sexbomb. You can give it to me when I need to come along. Sexbomb, sexbomb, you're my sexbomb.. And baby you can turn me on.."  
With that he snapped his head around and gave Sirius an hungry look and licked his lips, still out of reach of them.  
He turned back against them again with an smirk on his lips. Fully aware that he was teasing them.

"Baby you can turn me on... You know what you're doing to me don't you...Haha.. I know you do..."  
Sirius was feeling slightly sweating and was tugging his collar for air. His mate beside him, Remus was breathing heavily and had a wild look in them.

"Now don't get me wrong , ain't gonna do you no harm no. This bombs been loving, you can shoot it far. I'm your main target come and help me ignite.. Aoi!"  
He threw his head back and made that sexy yelp with his hips yerking.  
"Love struck holding you tight... Hold me tight, darling..." Severus smirked and gave Remus now a wink and lustfull look, before looking away ones again.

"Make me explode although you know.. The route to go.. To sex me slow..Slow.."  
The slow seductive motions Severus did was the last string by the horny Gryffindor boys and they both stood up slightly growling.

"And yes I must react, the claims of those who say that you're not all of that."  
Sirius and Remus was now circling the dancing Severus like hunters waiting to pound on their pray.  
"Sexbomb, sexbomb. You're a sexbomb. You can give it to me when I need to come along. Sexbomb, sexbomb, you're my sexbomb.. And baby you can turn me on..Turn me on!"  
Remus was behind him with his hands on Severus waist, Sirius in front his arms sneaking around Severus neck. They were moving in rytm against each other, grinding and looking officially hot.  
"Sexbomb, sexbomb. You're a sexbomb. You can give it to me when I need to come along. Sexbomb, sexbomb, you're my sexbomb.. And baby you can turn me on.."

James and Peter looked speechless, Lily looked unsurprised. Wonder why...  
The others were of course still chocked that it was Remus and Sirius who were his lovers. Oh Merlin.  
They just looked so hot.

"You can give me more and more counting up the scores..Yeah! You can turn me upside down and inside out. You can make me feel a real deal...Aha... And I can give it to you anytime because you're mine!"

Lucius Malfoy had his jaw hanging open un-Malfoy-like that Leo had to close it with her eyes rolling.  
Lina, Mae and the others looked ready to die happy, oh and they were drooling.

"Ow! Ouch! Sexbomb... Oh baby..! Sexbomb, sexbomb. You're my sexbomb and you can give it to me when I need to be turned on. Sexbomb sexbomb, you're my sexbomb, and baby you can turn me on.."  
Severus voice was succesfully husky and the three boys were glistring with sweat. The canines slightly moaning while dancing and the serpent singing and turning them on.  
"Turn me on.. And baby you can turn me on.. Turn me on! And baby you can turn me on.. Turn me on.. Oh, baby you can turn me on. Turn me on.. Baby, you can turn me on.. Oh, baby you can turn me on.. Ohohoh... Oh, baby you can turn me on.. Well, baby you can turn me on.."

They were breathing heavily at the time they stopped dancing.  
"You..." began Remus whispering in Severus ear.  
"...are..." continued Sirius and kissed his neck.  
"..comming.."  
"..with.."  
"..us.."  
"..you.."  
"...sexbomb.."  
Severus smirked and lead them out the great hall while they were busy attacking his neck.  
"I was counting on it."

They couldn't later hear the last words of Lockhart before he fainted.  
"Seeeevvie-pooooo! What about out bombastic loveee!"

- End -


End file.
